I've been a bad, bad boy

I used to think that one day I would follow Buddhism more closely.  I can honestly say that I could adhere to the five precepts but after receiving a bit of information on a past archenemy of mine, that idea looks like it's about to get shot straight to hell!

Practice the training of mindful speech, refrain from harmful speech.  This would be precept number four and one that since I consider myself more mature than I was twenty years ago, I feel I can certainly live with.  Or can I?  I once knew a man who told me to surround myself with positive thinking people and eliminate the negative from my life totally.  "Negative thinking people suck the life out of you" he would say.  And he was right.  Within minutes of standing around and listening to people like this you find yourself buying into their rubbish and making comments about everything around you.  But when I recently heard about a certain individual who has backed himself into such a corner that there's really no escape, I jumped in feet first.  Comments abound, I didn't hold back my elation for his recently acquired hardship.

This does nothing for my moral fiber.  If anything it destroys any shred of decency that I once thought I had.  But there's a certain amount of pleasure one gets when an absolutely horrible person is now found on their knees.  It feels pretty good when once in time you didn't amount to an amoeba on the ass of a fly in this person's eyes and now you are the one still standing.  When someone has historically questioned your morals and decisions and everyone around you, only to later find that they contradicted everything they've said by their own actions.  This can be quite gratifying.

Forgive me if I seem to be gloating here.  I've always felt strongly that no one deserves to be unhappy, ill-stricken, or hungry and I still subscribe to this wholeheartedly.  But in this particular case it's taking just about every ounce of energy in me to find it in my heart and mind to forgive.  I'm usually not a cruel person so I can only chalk it up to the hockey player in me since retribution was a defensive lineman's middle name.  And before I get every player in North America lined up at my doorstep to either sue me for defamation of character or punch the living tar out of me, let me make it clear that I am not speaking for all hockey players when I say this.

Still, after all the elation has subsided and the little voice of reason speaks up, it's something I nor anyone else in this type of situation should be proud of.  And I'm going to try to hear this voice over the sadistic laughter that usually drowns it out.  It's no surprise that this person was a pain in many people's rear quarters, not just mine.  And I know for a fact that there are others who upon hearing this news began to feel like I do.  In the end you can paint it any color you like and lay blame on who or whatever you choose but it's still wrong.  Regardless of what god you worship I have to think he/she would frown on it.