Because I care

How many of you can relate to this?

Your tween, or teen, arrives home from school and you lovingly greet them and ask how their day was.  an array of inaudible grunts bellow from them or worse yet, in their most irritated look they ask why is it that you have to ask so many questions.

Dinner has just finished and while everyone is doing their part in cleaning up you simply ask if anyone has homework and if so, have they completed it.  Then as if you've asked them to move mountains for you, they angrily say that either A.) they do and they'll get it done, just stop worrying about it, or B.) they'll get it done in study hall and ask you to please stop nagging them!

Or how about this.  Your daughter is dressed up like an angel.  Her hair and nails are done, and she's ready for her first formal high school dance and she's going with a boy who is a bit older no less.  Like any concerned parent you ask how the two of them are getting there, if he's going to take you to dinner, and what your plans are for the night.  Before you can even finish the last sentence, or click the first picture, she starts with the "why are you so nosey" thing and wonders why you can't just trust them and give them their space.

The answer is plain and simple.  It's because I care.  And any level headed, concerned, caring and loving parent would say the same.  Us old folks understand space, hell we need it sometimes ourselves.  And nosey?  How about wanting to still be a part of your life!  It's rough on someone when their child starts to mature and shows that they need their parents less and less.  But we don't do the things we do to control you or make your life miserable, we do it because we care.

My son has been driving for a few months now and I don't think a day goes by where I don't preach to him about the importance of safety belts, looking both ways, and keeping his distractions to a minimum.  I know he's wondering why I have to continually remind him of this stuff when (in his mind) he's a seasoned veteran with over one hundred races in the past seven years behind the wheel of a kart.  I have to keep reminding him though that everyone going in the same direction, even at much higher speeds, is usually a lot safer than slower traffic moving in opposite directions.



I just finished reading an eye-opening article the other day about the staggering amount of teens that are dying on our nation's streets and highways.  The enormity of this problem is made crystal clear when this 2006 article explained that since the Iraq invasion in 2003 there were 2600 American troops killed in combat.  In that same period, over 22,000 teenagers ages 15 to 19 died in traffic accidents on U.S. roads.  So when I seem like a broken record and constantly warn you about the dangers that lurk around every corner I do it because I care.  And statistics like that make it no easier on us.


Now I haven't been given any reasons yet to doubt my new driver, or the one who will follow him, but this week I felt inclined to put my expectations of them on paper and have them sign their life away.  Or hopefully in this case, their life to keep.  Nothing too complicated, and pretty easy for a teen to understand, or am I giving them too much credit?  You be the judge.



The XXXXXXX Family Driving Contract

I, (_______________________________) Hereby agree to the stipulations stated below granting me the privilege of driving. If at any time I should violate this agreement, my driving privileges could be forfeited until further determination is made by my parents and/or the authorities, if involved.

1. Should I get a traffic ticket, I agree to pay for the ticket, as well as the difference in the insurance premium for as long as the premium is in effect.

2. I agree to pay for damages that I incur which are not covered by insurance.

3. At no time will I ever drink alcoholic beverages and drive, nor will there ever be any in the vehicle.

4. I will not drive any vehicle until I and all passengers have buckled up.

5. I will keep the vehicle I drive clean, inside and out, and be aware of its needs for gas, oil, etc.

6. At all times, whether driving or parked, my music will be played at a low level as to not distract my driving as well as the peace of others. I will also pull to the side of the road when texting or calling someone on my cell phone in the case of an emergency. Otherwise my phone will be OFF while the car is in gear.

7. And as it pertains to taking rides from others, I will never enter a vehicle where the driver (or any of its occupants) are impaired by drugs and/or alcohol. I understand that in doing so I could not only jeopardize my safety, but forfeit the privilege of my own license if this is discovered.

I have read the above agreement and sign it in accordance with these rules.

Signed,

(Parent)____________________________ Date ________

(Student)___________________________ Date ________

I found something that resembled this document in an old Autoweek magazine article and just massaged it into something that I'm hoping we can all live with.  I say this tongue-in-cheek as its become very clear that I need to take a dose of my own medicine.  Just a mere two days after he signed it I took a cell phone call while we were out on the road and was immediately reprimanded by both of them for it.  It's great that they remembered the rules and made them very clear to me, I guess they are listening after all.  So much for leading by example.

But in the end it really doesn't matter how old you are, you'll always be concerned about your own.  How many people out there are still hounded by parents (more than likely Mom) on a daily basis?  You can only tell her so many times that things are alright and everyone is doing fine before it begins to get a bit monotonous, right?  But you'll most likely do it to your children when they've grown, and it's for no other reason than why your own mother is calling you.  It's because we care.

And if you think a lack of this kind of "bother" will make your world a much more peaceful place then regardless of whether you're young or old I beg you to think again.  You really need to reevaluate your situation and thank god that you have someone who cares.  There are far too many people in this world who do not, so it shouldn't be such a monumental task to realize that your issue with our being nosey is really a blessing in disguise.

Animoto, you gotta try it!

Create your own video slideshow at animoto.com.

You gotta go to this site if you're like me and you have about a billion pictures stored on your computer.  It's simple and it's free (if you keep it to 30 seconds)and you can choose from several backgrounds and music overlays.

Now I've heard it all

First, I'd like to apologize for taking as much time off as I have from 3AM with Gus.  Busy is an understatement when it comes to what has been on the family agenda this year but it took something like the horrible off-road crash that happened in the Mojave desert this past weekend to wake me up and get me going again.

What has and always will aggravate the hell out of me is stupid people.  For the purpose of this article I'll narrow it down to the stupid things that stupid people say, and lately it seems to be spreading like an epidemic.  People just don't think when they say things, or they feel that the garbage coming out of their skull cave truly has merit.  Like politicians who never seem to be at a loss of ignorant words: "I smoked it but I didn't inhale", or Mark Chapman's insane reasons for killing John Lennon.  Think of the moral fiber we're dealing with here and it's easy to base our comments on these individual's way of thinking but not when it comes to a good friend of one of the victims of the California 200 crash.  This guy spoke out on NBC's Today Show this morning and had the audacity to place some of the blame in the driver's hands for his buddy's death.  This is when I had to scream enough!

After all he looked like an intelligent individual, a nice person who truly cared for the well being of his deceased friend's family and I felt awful for them, him included.  I don't know how I'd react if one minute I'm standing with my friend or family member watching a race and in an instant they're lying dead right next to me.  What I do know is that I wouldn't say something as silly as "the drivers should slow down to somewhere around 20 or 30 miles per hour when they reach these stages that have fans lining the track".  Earth to slow guy, YOU are on THEIR track!  I'm just going to throw this out there but if you don't feel safe being that close to racing vehicles at speed then you should get your ass further away from them!  I watched the video and nowhere did I see anyone with a gun to all of your heads making you stand where you were.

Seriously, you show up at a race with no guard rails, catch fences, concrete abutments, or any other means of keeping the vehicles on track and you think the drivers have some sort of responsibility to the crowd?  If the crowds that attend these events had that little voice of reason talking in their head they wouldn't be standing at the road's edge while vehicles whistle past them at 80 miles per hour.  We've seen this all too often in Europe with the WRC, and their jaded past has called for some changes in how the sport now handles crowds at these races.  Until recent years, thousands of people would line the road side with most of them on the track surface until the cars would come through their stage.  Then, like the parting of the Red Sea, people would retreat to the sides of the road just inches from the vehicles as they would fly by at very high speeds.  Countless injuries and numerous deaths have occurred over the years and you would think that the organizers and promoters of the California 200 would have learned from something like this.  Oh they state that people must be 50 feet from any vehicle traveling above 15mph, but it's one thing to talk about it and another to figure out a way to enforce it.

What happened this past weekend is a tragedy and regardless of what I or anyone else may think that these people did or didn't do, it doesn't lessen the fact that many innocent people were injured or killed.  Good people who went there with just one intention- take in the sport they love and have a good time.  But the simple missing ingredient here was common sense.  It wasn't a speed limit imposed on drivers in certain areas.  It was our ability as rational thinking human beings to analyze the situation, assess the risk, and adjust accordingly.  But for some people it's much easier to be reactive and point fingers at others in times like this than to be proactive and avoid having things happen to us at all.  Just listen to one spectator from Laguna Niguel.  When asked about what she saw and her thoughts, she said "There were too many people, They all wanted to be close". "I didn't see the driver, he probably would have been killed by the crowd".

The prosecution rests.

When you visit a race track that does have all of the safety measures in place you still know things can go wrong.  We've all seen Indy cars climb the fence at the Brickyard or a Top Fuel car explode and rain debris in the stands and in many instances people have gotten injured or even killed.  We as fans (or participants) all run the risk of serious injury or even worse every time we set foot in a racing facility.  The human body is no match for a vehicle of any size at any speed, and we all have to respect this fact and take every precaution available to ensure our safety and that of others.  Sadly after this weekend it's a point all too well known now by people who may have forgotten otherwise.

I've been a bad, bad boy

I used to think that one day I would follow Buddhism more closely.  I can honestly say that I could adhere to the five precepts but after receiving a bit of information on a past archenemy of mine, that idea looks like it's about to get shot straight to hell!

Practice the training of mindful speech, refrain from harmful speech.  This would be precept number four and one that since I consider myself more mature than I was twenty years ago, I feel I can certainly live with.  Or can I?  I once knew a man who told me to surround myself with positive thinking people and eliminate the negative from my life totally.  "Negative thinking people suck the life out of you" he would say.  And he was right.  Within minutes of standing around and listening to people like this you find yourself buying into their rubbish and making comments about everything around you.  But when I recently heard about a certain individual who has backed himself into such a corner that there's really no escape, I jumped in feet first.  Comments abound, I didn't hold back my elation for his recently acquired hardship.

This does nothing for my moral fiber.  If anything it destroys any shred of decency that I once thought I had.  But there's a certain amount of pleasure one gets when an absolutely horrible person is now found on their knees.  It feels pretty good when once in time you didn't amount to an amoeba on the ass of a fly in this person's eyes and now you are the one still standing.  When someone has historically questioned your morals and decisions and everyone around you, only to later find that they contradicted everything they've said by their own actions.  This can be quite gratifying.

Forgive me if I seem to be gloating here.  I've always felt strongly that no one deserves to be unhappy, ill-stricken, or hungry and I still subscribe to this wholeheartedly.  But in this particular case it's taking just about every ounce of energy in me to find it in my heart and mind to forgive.  I'm usually not a cruel person so I can only chalk it up to the hockey player in me since retribution was a defensive lineman's middle name.  And before I get every player in North America lined up at my doorstep to either sue me for defamation of character or punch the living tar out of me, let me make it clear that I am not speaking for all hockey players when I say this.

Still, after all the elation has subsided and the little voice of reason speaks up, it's something I nor anyone else in this type of situation should be proud of.  And I'm going to try to hear this voice over the sadistic laughter that usually drowns it out.  It's no surprise that this person was a pain in many people's rear quarters, not just mine.  And I know for a fact that there are others who upon hearing this news began to feel like I do.  In the end you can paint it any color you like and lay blame on who or whatever you choose but it's still wrong.  Regardless of what god you worship I have to think he/she would frown on it.